Falling Into Infinity Read online

  Colin arrived just as we finished putting the groceries away. Everyone greeted him like he was some kind of rock star. However, he walked straight to me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead. “Thanks for coming Charlie,” he whispered in my ear.

  “No problem,” I muttered.

  The house had three bedrooms. Jennifer and Quinn took the master suite complete with a sauna and Jacuzzi tub. Aiden and Rachael thankfully took the smaller of the two other rooms.

  When I went into the room Colin and I were sharing, I almost had a panic attack. It was a queen size bed. Colin is like the size of two normal people. There was no way we were going to keep from touching. I dropped my bag in the corner and took out my bikini. Maybe I can get drunk enough to pass out on the couch, I thought to myself.

  I was the last one to join everyone around the pool. Rachael took one look at my face and handed me her homemade Piña Colada. “Here friend. You look like you need this more than me.”

  I noticed that Aiden and Quinn were both drinking beer. Jennifer, Rachael, and I were all making mixed drinks. Colin had a bottle of water.

  He spotted me hanging with the girls after only a few moments. The look on his face confirmed what Jennifer and Rachael had been telling me all along. Colin looked at me like a thirsty man looks at glass of ice cold water. He started at my feet and made his way up to my aqua bathing suit bottoms. He licked his lips when his eyes passed over my flat, tan stomach. I didn’t have big boobs, but the aqua bikini top really did a nice job of making them look fabulous. Our eyes locked together and when he made the come hither gesture with his finger, I didn’t hesitate. I guess he really did like me as more than just a friend. As much as he wanted me in that moment, I wanted him because Colin shirtless in swim trunks made my heart flutter. He really was so gorgeous that he looked like a mission statement.

  I walked to where he was, feeling like I was a goddess. He reached his hand out when I was close enough and pulled me to him. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Caroline, you are the most beautiful girl in the world, marry me.”

  I looked up with shock written all over my face. I stood on my tip-toes and whispered in his ear, “Not today.”

  He picked me up, laughing like a crazy person, and threw me over his shoulder. Before I knew it we were both in the pool.

  The rest of the day couldn’t have been more perfect. We swam in the infinity pool until the sun went down. Aiden, who was quite the chef, did burgers for us on the outdoor grill. We ate too much, laughed too much and drank just a smidgen too much… everyone except for Colin. He stuck to his bottled water.

  Around ten o’clock Aiden and Rachael, who had been all over each other the entire day, were surprisingly tired. About thirty minutes later, Jennifer developed a mysterious headache and she needed Quinn to rub her temples.

  That left Colin and I alone. Thankfully, there was a great movie selection in the house so Colin and I cuddled on the couch and watched the very romantic movie “Die Hard.”

  When it was over, Colin asked me to go lay outside with him and look at the stars. I ran into the room that we were sharing and grabbed us a blanket. By the time that I got outside, Colin had his MP3 player playing old country and two sun loungers pushed together. He patted the lounger next to his inviting me to lie down.

  “Have we run out of conversation? Is that why I get music?” I said with a smirk on my face.

  He pulled me closer to him and said, “Caroline, I think that I could spend a life time in the car with you and not run out of conversation. You are an enigma.”

  “Oh really, Colin. I always know exactly what you are thinking,” I replied back with a little bit of hurt in my voice.

  Apparently that was a conversation ender.

  We laid in silence listening to the music, watching the stars and cuddling under the blanket.

  Just as I was about to excuse myself and go inside, Garth Brook’s song “The Dance” began to play.

  “Will you dance with me?” Colin asked.

  “Sure,” I said, flashing him a sweet smile.

  We slow danced under the Texas stars, next to the infinity pool, with my head resting against his bare sculpted chest.

  “Charlie, please don’t ever say goodbye. Don’t make me like the guy in the song that says that he could have missed the pain, but he would have had to miss the dance. I want to keep dancing with you forever,” he prayed into my hair as we swayed to the music.

  I stopped dancing and looked up at him. “Colin, what are you saying?” That sounded like a declaration of love to me.

  “I’m saying that I want to marry you. I am crazy about you,” he said, staring into my eyes with intensity and passion. His green looked lovingly into my lavender.

  “Don’t you think that we should date first?” I asked. Is this guy nuts?

  He stopped dancing and stepped back looking at me directly in the face. His face changed from a look of want to a look of extreme hurt. “What have we been doing for the last six months, Charlie? Have you gone out with anyone else? Dear God, you better not have slept with anyone else. You don’t even spend as much time with your roommate as you do with me. If this isn’t dating and falling in love then I don’t know what is!” He was clearly angry with me, but he was also hurt.

  “Colin, I am so confused. You’ve never even kissed me on the lips. You’ve shown no interest in me sexually until I walk out in a bikini and then you completely eye fuck me. I need clues that you are in to me, and you don’t think of me as your sister,” I all but yelled at him.

  In the same tone back, he said, “Let’s see. You’ve kissed me on the lips. No wait. You haven’t. You’ve shown interest in wanting to fuck me. No wait. You haven’t. I need clues you are in to me too Caroline!”

  Okay. Now, I was screaming. “You’re Colin.Fucking.McKinney, Football God. You are a walking fucking mission statement. Every girl in the state of Texas and a few of the guys want to fuck you! I’m a pre-med nerd who spends eight hours a day on campus studying. I need a clue you want me. You’re a given. If you want me as more than just your dance partner, running buddy, and Thursday lunch date, you need to tell me. Even better yet, show me. Try kissing me. Try grabbing my ass. I don’t know. Maybe show some sort of interest in me other than what you would show your kid sister.” With that, I turned and walked inside. I would be damned if I was going to sleep on the couch. He was the presumptuous one. He could figure it out.

  I walked into the bedroom and locked the door. I put on my pajamas and proceed to cry myself to sleep.

  I woke up early the next morning after a very restless night, but I was scared to leave the room until I heard other people. Colin and I needed a buffer after last night. Then I heard Quinn say in a raised, worried voice, “Oh my God! Colin, what have you done? Colin?”

  I jumped out of bed, still in my pajamas and threw open the bedroom door and found Colin sitting on the couch with a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the coffee table.

  My eyes frantically looked between Quinn and Aiden to give me a clue as to what was going on. All I got back were shocked expressions. That’s not that much alcohol to drink, but then again, Colin doesn’t drink. Does he?

  Colin was the most wretched sight that I had ever seen. He was sitting on the couch with his forearms resting on his legs. His head was dropped. The half-drunk bottle of Jack Daniel was in front of as if reminding him of his bad deeds.

  Rachael yelled, “Charlie, do something!”

  When he heard my name he picked his head up and with glazed eyes started looking around for me. When he finally spotted me, he said as he attempted to point at me, “You. You made me regret the dance.”

  I inwardly rolled my eyes. Could he be any more dramatic? “I made him regret the dance.” Seriously! That’s something that a drunken sorority girl would say. Instead of me making fun of him, I yelled at Aiden and Quinn, “I thought he didn’t drink.”

  Jennifer answered for them. “Honey, he doesn’t drink until
he does.”

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean,” I growled. I wasn’t in the mood for riddles.

  I collapsed on the floor in front of him. “Colin, look at me. Why didn’t you come and talk to me? Let’s get you up, and I’ll take care of you.”

  He looked like a beaten dog. His beautiful, wavy hair was matted and hanging limply around his face. His usually bright green eyes were cloudy and his eye lids heavy. His face was so red that I was concerned that he had a sunburn. I began to rub his back. “Come on Colin, come with me. I’ll make you feel better.”

  I think that I finally got through to him because he started to try to stand up. I put my arms around his chest and helped him to his feet.

  “Charlie, I don’t feel good,” he confirmed.

  “I know. Colin, you drank too much. I’m going to take care of you,” I whispered to him.

  I started barking orders. “Rachael, go find me aspirin. Jennifer, bring me a stack of towels. Aiden, go get him a glass of water. Quinn, help me get him into the bathroom.”

  Thankfully, between Quinn and me, we got him into the bathroom in the room that we were supposed to be sharing. He helped me maneuver Colin in front of the toilet.

  Quinn said very quietly and just to me, “Charlie, he has so much pride. Leave him be.”

  “Quinn, he’s in this position because of me. I’m not leaving him. I’ll let you know if I need help,” I stated very bluntly.

  I closed the door behind Quinn and locked it. I knew that Colin was prideful, but apparently, I was the love of his life and this was what loved ones do.

  Pathetic was the only way to describe his appearance. His head was resting on his arms which were folded on top of the toilet seat. “Colin, listen to me. I know that you just want to go to sleep, but I can’t let you. We have to get all of this out of your stomach. Even though you are a big guy, you have no alcohol tolerance. You never drink. You feel bad because your body isn’t reacting well to the Jack. You are going to need to make yourself sick. You are worrying me. If you can’t make yourself sick, then I am going to take you to the ER. Do you understand me?”

  He mumbled something that sounded like an agreement. Then he picked up his head and looked at me with eyes filled with hurt. “Do you love me like I love you?”

  I stroked his beautiful face and said, “Colin, I know that there is no one else that I would rather nurse through a hangover than you. I look forward to the time that I spend with you. If that’s how you feel about me, then yeah, I guess I love you like you love me.”

  “I’m going to keep asking you to marry me until you say yes,” he mumbled at me.

  “You do that. One day, I just might say yes,” I reassured him, and I meant it. At that moment, I couldn’t imagine that there was anyone else in the world that I could want more than him. Even though we still hadn’t even kissed on the lips, I knew that losing him would feel like I lost myself.

  I opened the door and found a big glass of water, aspirin, and towels waiting for me.

  I handed him the water, and he gave me a drunk, gorgeous half smile. “Take a sip of the water.”

  He took a big drink and handed it back to me just in time for him to start losing his bourbon. I sat down on the edge of the bathtub. I rubbed his back, played with his wavy hair and whispered soothing words to him.

  I could tell how frustrated he was with himself. Every time another episode of the retching started, he would cuss. A couple of times, he begged me to leave him alone. I ignored him and maintained my contact with him.

  When he thought that he was finished, he leaned back against the bathroom wall. We were sitting across from each other staring into each other’s eyes.

  “I feel like hammered shit,” he finally said, sounding much more alert.

  I flushed the toilet and grabbed him a wet towel for his face.

  “You look like hammered shit. You need to drink some more water. Once you can prove to me that you can keep it down, I’ll let you go to sleep,” I ordered.

  “Charlie, I am sorry that I overwhelmed you last night,” he said.

  “I don’t want to talk about it right now. I want to get you better and then we’ll discuss this like adults,” I reassured him.

  Unfortunately, the water didn’t stay down, but that round of sickness left him dry heaving with nothing coming up.

  He was so weak that when he stood up, he reminded me again of the Colin that I met that looked like Bambi on ice. I followed him into our bedroom and watched him sit down on the bed.

  I stripped him of his very stinky T-shirt and made the joke while I was stripping off his shorts that this was not the way I thought the first time seeing him naked would be. I did allow myself one quick peek at the bulge in his underwear. Hmm… I thought to myself. That will be very fun in the near future.

  I pulled the covers over him and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

  “I’ll come check on you every hour. Sleep tight.”

  “Hey Charlie,” he mumbled.

  “What?”

  “Marry me.”

  “No Colin. Not today,” I replied sweetly.

  About six hours later, Colin emerged from our bedroom looking like a spring chicken. He was freshly showered and smelled like my body wash. He walked straight to me and gave me our first kiss on my lips. I couldn’t help but notice both Jennifer and Rachael raise their eyebrows at us.

  He apologized to Quinn and Jennifer and promised to replace the Jack. I seriously didn’t think that they cared.

  We took the pontoon boat out, and turned a day that started off like a nightmare into a lot of fun. We all grabbed inner tube floats and jumped in the cool water of Lake Travis. The water was refreshing compared to the hot sun that beat down on us. As soon as Colin could get me alone, he whispered to me, “I’m a mission statement, huh?”

  I laughed and shrugged. “You are apparently my mission statement.”

  I made him blush, and I loved it.

  He pulled my inner tubenext to his and said, “I’m sorry that you had to see me like that. I will not drink again.”

  “Colin, you are a twenty-one year-old guy, that’s what they do. It’s okay. I promise,” I reassured him not wanting him to feel ashamed. “Can I ask a question without you getting angry?”

  “Um… Sure, I guess,” Colin replied with anxiety etched in his face. I have no clue what he thought that I was going to ask, but I had obviously made him uncomfortable. He began to fidget with the string of his board shorts. I had never seen him this unsure of himself. The confident almost cocky Colin that I knew had faded away and a 6’5” anxious little boy floated next to me in the water.

  I grabbed the hand that was rolling the board short string in its fingers and brought it into my lap. I grasped his hand in mine to stop the nervous tick. “Colin, why has it taken so long for you to tell me how you feel about me?”

  I turned my inner tube so that I could see him better. We were facing each other but still side by side so that I could hold his hand. I got the impression that he needed my touch for this conversation.

  “Well, Charlie,” he began. “I guess I’ve never had a real girlfriend before.”

  The look of surprise must have registered loud and clear on my face because Colin laughed and said, “I’ve been with girls before just not any that I actually got to know and really cared about before we… you know… had sex.” He sheepishly looked at me and blushed pink with embarrassment. It was really cute.

  At least a thousand emotions raced through my mind, but the most surprising one was jealousy. I was jealous of unnamed girls that had his attention before me. I silently implored him to continue. Discussing his past conquests was not high on my list of interesting topics.

  “At first, I just wanted to get to know you. Then, I started to really look forward to our Tuesday drives to Houston. But, let’s face the truth, Charlie. I dropped a lot of flirtatious comments and you didn’t once flirt back.”

  I knew that he was right. I
had been so scared to flirt because I didn’t want him to think that I was just a stupid fangirl. Then, there was that nagging promise that I had made to myself to not get involved with guys until after medical school.

  I smiled at him while I continued to rub his hand, “I have been accused of being aloof by more than one person.”

  I could tell that he was trying out that word in his head for a moment. Apparently, he decided to not respond to my comment about my possible personality flaw, and he said, “By the time that I ran into you at Hurricane Harry’s you had me so fucked up that I didn’t know my head from my ass. I wanted my celebration dinner to be our first date. You looked smokin’ hot in that lavender dress, by the way. But, you gave me no signal that you were interested in me. I called Jennifer and Quinn when I got back to my dorm that night. They both agreed that you were obviously not into me like I was into you. Jennifer even pointed out that maybe I liked you so much because you were the first girl that didn’t just roll onto her back for me.”

  We were interrupted by Quinn yelling at us to see if we wanted a beer from the cooler. Colin accepted water, and I gratefully took a beer. I was getting more information from this conversation than I had expected when I asked the question. I thought that Colin wasn’t a good communicator of his feelings. I was beginning to think that I was the one who had the problem with communication.

  Jennifer, Quinn, Rachael and Aiden got back on the pontoon boat to make sandwiches. I wanted to finish this discussion first so Colin and I stayed in the water.

  Colin continued once we were sure that no one was paying any attention to us. “I spent the rest of that week being a real asshole to everyone. I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. I was scared to call you and ask you out because I didn’t want you to say no. Finally, on Sunday, Aiden and Quinn had an intervention of sorts,” Colin said laughing.

  “They kidnapped me and insisted that I go dancing with them. They wanted me to go to Harry’s and pick up a hot piece of ass. I was supposed to get laid and forget that I had ever met you,” he said smiling at the memory.